Friday, September 21, 2018

A new way to think about the transition to motherhood | Alexandra Sacks

A new way to think about the transition to motherhood; Alexandra Sacks

When a baby is born, so is a mother -- but the natural (and sometimes unsteady) process of transition to motherhood is often silenced by shame or misdiagnosed as postpartum depression. In this quick, informative talk, reproductive psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks breaks down the emotional tug-of-war of becoming a new mother -- and shares a term that could help describe it: matrescence.

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I’m a stay at home Dad. I woke up in the middle of the night to feed our babies. I changed the diapers. Both of my daughters spent the first 30 minutes of their life on my bare chest. I potty trained them. I dropped them off on their first day of school. I still drop them off and pick them up everyday. I make their breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have raised them almost alone save for a few hours between dinner and bath time. Sometimes I wonder where I fit in to these romanticized discussions of Motherhood. Maybe we should be discussing parenthood more and motherhood can be a part of it, rather than the end all be all. These issues discussed affect me way more than they do my wife. Food for thought...


Matrescence: makes sense. I felt like I was failing motherhood; my ideals met reality. Plus breastfeeding was so hard and all those parenting web sites are so judgmental or more accurately the comment section is.


She doesn't mention men much. Near the end she says, "When a baby is born, so is a mother." And so is a father. Men matter; and talking to your partner "if you have one" is of major importance and a priority.

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